28 October 2022
By Tamsin October
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” (Sam Keen)
The saying goes “beauty is only skin deep”, which is something I learned during my psoriasis journey, even though I still hide my arms and legs. But soon that will be all over as I do the final countdown to World Psoriasis Day (WPD) which is celebrated on 29th October. Every year on this day awareness is raised and all kind of events happen around the world to symbolise care and kindness.
To me, 2022 WPD will be extra special as a day of celebration. It brings a real fairy tale with a dream coming true. I feel there is no better way to be celebrating this day, a moment that was once a thought is becoming a reality. Not only is my surname October but I had the opportunity to choose this date to marry the person who has accepted me with all my flaws.
Sebastian Haricombe, has not given me a moment to be shy but to only graciously know that he cares about me. Imagine being at one point in my life feeling lonely and thinking that psoriasis will scare away any male interested in me. In this case it was not like that. I remember his words to me “I like the person, not the skin because beauty is skin deep’’. These words have literally struck me and made me realise that someone does really love me for me, even with psoriasis. This is when I had to take time and the opportunity to educate him. I always made mention that psoriasis is not contagious as that just brings us more comfort. None of this bothered Sebastian.
We have now been together for just over two and a half years during which time Sebastian has seen my skin at its worst during covid and during my studying periods, and on the better days. He can tell when new patches make their appearance and helps scratch the patches. These moments are so significant to me, showing a true sign of care, love and admirable kindness. He even helps me with my shopping. I am glad he knows my style of clothing too as he looks for garments with three quarter sleeves as I am wearing on the photo below.
Sebastian has really taken my heart with psoriasis and it does not bother him at all. I remember on many occasions, how negative my thoughts would be that I would never find love because of my skin. Then I joined the local psoriasis support group and found members much older than me who suffered from the same skin condition. They were married and had children. This really gave me a little bit of hope knowing that I can have a partner some day.
Living with psoriasis is normal, especially with a partner who is able to love you through it all. On 29th October I get to marry that guy who has chosen to love me deeply, despite the psoriasis. He and I will scratch together through the rest of our lives.
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